living in two worlds

As a friend worded so perfectly, "You're living in two worlds." I was telling her how torn and incomplete I feel, it's just so hard to explain. I am here, but my heart is in Ethiopia. At any time of the day I look at the clock and can imagine what he's doing. It's about 2 pm there right now, they probably just ate lunch and are taking "naps". I think they have to go to their shared room and rest, but seemed like they were usually talking and laughing or playing some sort of a game. Maybe he's looking at our photo album like we know he did so many times... One day when we showed up at the orphanage I was wearing a shirt that he recognized from one of the pictures we had previously sent. As soon as we got there he held up a finger for us to wait, ran to his room to get the photo album then brought it out pointing at the picture and back at my shirt. He is so smart, and observant! 

I keep trying to sum up in words how I feel after so much has just happened. We left the country for the first time, to go to a third world country, to meet our beautiful son, then we just left it all. I sometimes feel like it's not fair that we get to just come back to life as we knew it, and in a way just forget everything that happened. When so much has changed. Our hearts and our eyes have been opened to a world we only knew about from pictures. Now we ask ourselves, "What else can we do?" Right now we are praying that the Lord would use us in ways that we can't even imagine. At this point last year we could never have imagined where the Lord would lead us. I am so thankful He is the one writing our story, we would have never put these chapters in on our own! The Lord has given us the opportunity to bring one of the fatherless into our family, but there are so many more. And there are so many mothers and families all over the world that are hanging on by a thread. Moms are going to sleep tonight praying that they can feed their children tomorrow. More needs to be done to prevent families from falling apart. You might not be called to adopt, but you are called to care for the fatherless and the widow. There are wonderful organizations that are doing just that, defending the fatherless and the widow. We support a family through Bring Love In's "Keep One Home" program. I know there are other organizations like this one who are doing amazing things. If you are reading this tonight, I ask that you would pray about how you can care for the least of these. Maybe you can't adopt, but you can do something. 

Well-meaning people tell us all the time, "He is so lucky." I know they mean well, but no, no he's not. He lost his birth family, has experienced more in his life than we could ever imagine. We are the lucky ones. God is allowing us to be a part of His redemption story in our son's life. We cannot wait to see how God is going to use this amazing young man. He is a young man! Wow. This little boy who has stolen our hearts, and will soon steal yours as soon as you meet him, is a young man whom God has entrusted us with. We don't take this duty lightly. Please pray with us as we walk through these next months with our sweet boy. We pray for healing, that God would heal his hurts and wounds. We pray God would comfort and protect him as he comes to this new world where everything is different. We pray for understanding, for all three of us. We pray he would understand as we figure out for the first time how to be parents, that we want what is best for him always, and that we will never stop loving him no matter what. 

Since I've been asking for a lot tonight, I'd like to ask a few more things... I know people mean well and would never intentionally say or do things that would upset us (well, let's be honest...I'm talking about me here) so if you have said or asked these things please don't think I have any hard feelings. Honestly, these things have been asked or said so much I don't know who's said or asked! Please don't ask us when we plan on having kids of "our own", or when I plan on getting pregnant. He is "our own", he is my baby. He is all we could have dreamed for or hoped for. We don't know what the future holds, right now we are focusing on bringing our boy home and loving him the best we can. Please don't tell us he's lucky, you can tell us all day, every day how lucky we are, because we are. We are so blessed by this amazing boy.  We also ask that you don't ask about his history, his background, parents, etc... I know it is natural to want to ask, but at this point we don't know how much he wants or we want to share. It's his story, his history. We really don't know the whole story ourselves, so please respect all of our privacy on this. And please don't ask our parents or siblings either. Just congratulate them on the most beautiful grandson or nephew you've ever seen. :)

And since it is the 10 million dollar question... when will we go back? (This question is welcomed btw :)) At this point, we don't know for sure. We are waiting for clearance from US Embassy. We estimate we could return around the second week of October. As we all know, none of this is in our hands and things could change for the sooner or the later. We are begging and praying that it is sooner. Another 6+ weeks of living in this half-here, half-there world is going to be tough, but we know God's plan is bigger and better than ours. We are resting in Him and trusting that He has this under control. We appreciate all your support and prayers, we really couldn't be doing this without all of you!

Isaiah 41:13 - For I the Lord your God, hold your right hand; 

it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."