watching airplanes

The people have asked for a blog update and I think it is about time. I meant to be better at updating this, but it's just kind of different when there aren't any big specific events happening. 

What have we been up to? One way to describe where we are right now is "watching airplanes." You know the song, "I'm just sitting round here watching airplanes take off and fly..." Well, in the adoption world, the first few months home with your child where things are all rainbows and butterflies are known as "the honeymoon." Our first few weeks in Ethiopia with Eliyas were rough. We were expecting our honeymoon to start right away, so we were a little shocked that there was no champagne or roses. By God's grace we got through and about the third week we turned a huge corner. It was like he all the sudden started trusting us and believing we truly loved him. I can only imagine all that was going on in his heart and his head those first few weeks. Why weren't we picking him up and going home like all the other families? We weren't telling him much about the whole waiver dilemma, we just kept saying we were waiting on embassy. But he is a smart kid, and I'm learning more every day how observant he is. He had to have been picking up on the fact that I was a WRECK. Things were crazy. Chase was sick, I was falling apart at the seams. 

Anyways... since we've been home, things have been going pretty smoothly. Sure we have our hard days, tears, breakdowns... but luckily for us, this is all new. Parenting, parenting an older child, parenting an adopted child, parenting a child from a hard place... We have nothing to compare this to. There are days when I can't imagine having another child. Then there are days when I'm ready to sign up to adopt again, heck maybe siblings next time! (By the way, babies seriously scare me now. Children who sleep 11 hours a night and can get their own OJ from the fridge and banana off the counter when mom wants to sleep in till 10 AM... those are some pretty awesome children to introduce you to the parenthood thing.) We are learning so much every day, all three of us. We read lots of books before E came home, I've read tons of blogs, but nothing really prepares you for what it's like in real life. I forget most of what the books say, what I do remember doesn't seem to work. Ask for a do-over in this house? World War 3. "Would you like a compromise?" gets you a nice, "Would YOU like a compromise??!?!!!" The things a 9 year old with limited (though getting scarily better by the day) English can say are pretty shocking. (Surely I was nothing like this as a 9 year old, right Mom???? :)) I am finding new things every day that "work" as far as disciplining goes, and celebrate the little victories. Disciplining a 9 year old, who has probably never been disciplined before, is like setting boundaries for a 2 year old in a 9 year old's body. It's new for him and it's scary. 

I'm getting to the airplanes part, I promise... we have had some wonderful days with Eliyas home. His laugh is amazing. His smile will melt your heart... not to mention it helps him get away with a whole lot. He is trusting us more every day with pieces of his past. I sometimes feel like there is no way he has been somewhere else the past 9 years, surely he's always slept in his little fortress of a bed a few feet away from us. Then there's the tears and grief to remind us of the truth. He has been through more than I could ever imagine. And he's come out smiling and loving. Wow. What grace. He told me this week, "Now I know that you're my mom." I said, "What do you mean?" And he said, "In Ethiopia, I was scared. Now, I know you're my mom and I love you." I pray he knows this deep down. He is forever loved, forever our son, and we are not going anywhere. 

What is Eliyas like? What does he like to do? He loves playing outside; soccer, basketball (probably his new favorite), football, riding his bike... he loves going to Main Event or Gattiland and playing video games. He loves watching movies or playing video games at home as well. :) He loves going to Jumpstreet (note, any trampoline is now called "jumpstreet" due to the name of the indoor trampoline park. :)) Let me share with you some of our favorite things about our precious boy. He is a protector. Some days, when he's about to go outside and play with his friends, he tells me, "If you're scared, I can stay inside with you." He insists that I lock the front door or close the garage door behind him. He is loving and caring. When I see him playing with friends (from a distance... because play dates in our home or on our terms are a whole different game :)), he is always making sure they're okay if they fall, taking the blame if someone got hurt, even when it clearly wasn't his fault, giving hugs if someone is upset or crying. Kids are always coming to the door asking if he can play. We are blessed to have a group of kids right around the corner from him that he gets to play with almost every day. Little did we know when we moved in this neighborhood, that God would have this group of older boys, ranging from probably 2nd grade to 8th grade, to be our boy's friend. They're so sweet with him. They love to play soccer with him and tell him, and us, how good he is. They even say his name right! Which always surprises me. :) He is so brave and he is so smart. He started school on January 7th and he is just amazing us with how well he is doing. The first couple of days at home, after school, were tough. The adjustment brought out lots of emotions and it was hard. Really hard. 

Hard moments, like the first week of school, are moments that make me scared the honeymoon is over. We read so much about the really hard stuff in adoption, people tell you constantly, "Oh, it's just the honeymoon phase..." Hinting that the crazy is about to come out. It's like I am constantly waiting for the bottom to fall out. For the most part I feel like I do a decent job of living in the now, appreciating the tiny victories, the big victories. Celebrating the good days. When the hard stuff does come out, i.e. first week of school, I immediately go to this place of terror that this is it. The other shoe has dropped. Stuff is about to hit the fan. He's going to start lying, hoarding food, destroying things, manipulating, and on and on. When you mention in an adoption Facebook group that things aren't going so well, you might hear something like, "At about 3 months, they start becoming more comfortable with you so lots of these behaviors come out." And you don't really know what life after the honeymoon is like. You hear stories that are scary. You wonder how you could possibly go through what these families go through.

So that is what I mean by watching airplanes. I'd say we are still on the honeymoon, for the most part, or maybe starting to become comfortable newlyweds. I'm not saying it's all sunshine and roses, but for the most part, things are good. So I kind of live in this stage of waiting for the airplane to come to take us to the island of really hard stuff. I pray it doesn't. I pray that God would help me to live in the now, and to not worry about what could come. I pray that if we do get to that island, that I would be reminded of God's goodness. Of his promises that I know are true. I have learned so much on our journey. Gained SO many new, amazing, lifelong friends. (If you feel like you don't have any friends, just adopt. You'll gain this indescribably amazing community that will carry you through on days when you feel like you can't walk on your own.) I have learned that things aren't always easy, that life isn't always easy, and that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. So whatever lies ahead, I know that our God will sustain us. He will guide us and direct our steps. 

We are blessed beyond measure. At the end of the day, we are still in awe that God chose us to be this boy's parents. As I was telling a friend today, it feels crazy that they let us get on a plane and take him to America. We never took a test. (Or maybe that's called a home study... lol) Some days I don't feel like we are ready for this, but yet he trusts us anyways, loves us, forgives us when we make mistakes. And I think Chase and I are reminded on a daily basis that we are just blessed to be here. To be home as a family of 3. There were plenty of days in Ethiopia that we weren't sure that that was going to happen anytime in the next 9 months. God has performed miracle after miracle, and we are so thankful. 

We had a great time celebrating Eliyas at a "Welcome Home" party a couple weeks ago.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

awaiting USA, day 31. {never once did we ever walk alone}

standing on this mountain top
looking just how far we’ve come
knowing that for every step
You were with us

Wow. I still can't even believe I am finally writing this. Eliyas has his visa and is less than 48 hours away from officially becoming an American citizen. The reality of this is sinking in and all I have are tears to express how I feel. Tears of joy, for many reasons. And also the regular old fashioned tears. For us, we are going home to beautiful America. For Eliyas, he is leaving life as he knows it. His country, his culture, his language, his friends, his family, his tibs firfir, "mesmo" (Amharic Christian music), and everything he has ever known. 

30 days ago we got the news we never expected to hear, that he had TB. We were told by several different people that day that a waiver was unlikely due to his age. Without a waiver, Eliyas would have to stay in Ethiopia for 9 months for treatment and a retest. This news just about broke me. For a few days after, I felt like at any minute I was going to fall apart. It was hard to even breathe. Over the next 4.5 weeks, the Lord placed people in our paths and worked in ways that can only be explained by His grace. 


Romans 8:28 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

kneeling on this battleground
seeing just how much You've done
knowing every victory
was Your power in us

By His grace, the staff at the US Embassy in Addis Ababa was more than compassionate, understanding, and helpful. When we visited with them on October 16, they assured us they would do everything to help and everything to get us out of here ASAP. We were more than just another "family name," which we weren't expecting at all.  

By His grace, we were put in touch with a congressman, Kevin Brady, and his staff who fought tooth and nail for us. I am sure that without them, and without God, we would still be sitting here waiting. The even more amazing part of this piece of the story is he is not even OUR congressman. He is over another district and we cannot vote for him. We are forever thankful for what he has done for us. If you are in his district, please vote for him on our behalf!!

By His grace, I connected with a new friend on Facebook who started making calls for us, totally unsolicited. I briefly met this fellow adoptive mama at Eliyas' orphanage in July when they were there to pick up their beautiful daughter. We happened upon each other on Facebook a couple of weeks before we left for this trip and as soon as she heard the news she asked what she could do to help. She put us in contact with another adoptive mama who just brought her 12 year old son home from China, he also had TB and required the same waiver. This other mama's advice, encouragement, resources, and contacts have been invaluable. She put us in touch with the US' leading pediatric TB expert, who just so happens to consult for the CDC (who we needed on our side) and is in Houston, close enough for us to visit for treatment when we get home. She also gave us contact information for someone at the CDC. This was in the midst of the partial shutdown and that particular person was out on furlough, but there was another person listed to contact in her email auto reply. I reached out to her and she immediately got back to me, assuring me they would do everything they could to help. I couldn't believe it! Someone at the CDC actually cared? Over the next 20+ days, I came to realize this person is a doctor who is highly regarded at the CDC, not just another average Jane at a desk, and she would actually have a hand in approving our waiver. WOW. God is good. All the time.


1 Peter 5:10
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

By His grace, our waiver was delivered to the USCIS lockbox in Phoenix on October 29 and we received our approval on November 7, nine long days later. After the approval, we received Eliyas' visa on last minute notice at the US Embassy this morning! They were nine long days for us, but in comparison to how long it could have taken (5 months is the average time for a waiver to be processed), it is nothing short of a miracle. We got our miracle! It wasn't exactly when we wanted it, but that's the thing about God's timing. As much as I struggle with it, it is perfect. Every time, all the time. I'm not going to lie, I have had days where I have struggled with trusting. I've had days where I have asked, "Why hasn't He let us go home yet?" I've had minutes where I thought everything was going to fall apart and wondered where He was. Why hasn't He stepping in to save the day the way I wanted Him to? 

scars and struggles on the way
but with joy our hearts can say

yes, our hearts can say

By His grace, our faith has been tested and we have come out stronger, no doubt. We have learned to depend on God in new ways as we have become parents (what a crash course in parenting!!), as we are learning about our son who has had 9 years of life without us. Yes, we are his parents and it is a beautiful thing that God has brought us together. But it's not forgotten that he has suffered loss and pain that we cannot imagine. As we try to figure out how to love him best, how to parent him best, we have relied on the Lord for the wisdom and strength, especially on days when we felt like we had no clue what we were doing. We have trusted in the Lord like never before as we have struggled with illnesses, horribly rough days filled with anxiety and fear. Fear of "losing" our child for 9 months, fear of the unknown financial situation, fear of this third world country that has been our home for the last month. In the last 31 days I have learned more about the Lord and more about my prayer life than I could have any other way. And I keep asking why He's left us here? I think I might have an answer. At least part of it- I may never understand all the reasons, thought I trust His plan is perfect. He has proven His faithfulness over and over.

James 1:2-8

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

never once 
did we ever walk alone

never once 
did You leave us on our own

You are faithful

God, You are faithful

By His grace, we have learned first-hand about our son's culture, food, country, sights, sounds, and yes, smells. Lots of them. We have picked up a few Amharic words and Eliyas' English has improved drastically. We have made new friends, both American & Ethiopian, who we will treasure for life. We have been blessed beyond measure by our friends, family, and amazing adoption community back home. We have learned that there will be people there to hold us up when we feel like we can't stand on our own. 

scars and struggles on the way
but with joy our hearts can say
never once did we ever walk alone
carried by Your constant grace
held within Your perfect peace
never once, no, we never walk alone

Over the last 31 days we have learned a lot about our Eliyas. He is so smart, caring, loving, an amazing athlete, and hilarious. Even more hilarious in Amharic because every driver, every sweet lady at the front desk, the guides, etc... are constantly cracking up at whatever he is saying. Can't wait till we get to hear more in English. We have played more games of HORSE than we can count. He keeps us on our toes! I have explained what "XOXO" means (still don't think he gets that one), we discuss our family name on a daily basis (the whole name system works differently here- people are known by their first name and father's name. So Eliyas Chase is the way his name would normally be known.) He cracks us up. Today, when asked how to say a number in Amharic he said, "I don't know, I'm American now!" He saw a sugar packet (instead of a bowl and spoon) and lawn sprinkler for the first time today and was amazed at both. We cannot wait to experience more firsts with him and see the world through his eyes. We have overcome some rough days and are seeing more of our sweet son every day. He volunteers hugs, kisses, "I love you's", jokes, asks questions... quite the change from the first few weeks. We are officially in our honeymoon stage and loving every second.

every step

we are breathing in Your grace

evermore we'll be

breathing out Your praise

You are faithful

God You are faithful

Tonight, as he goes to sleep for the last time (at least for quite a while) in his home country, we pray for his precious heart. Life as he knows it is about to change. He is leaving all that he knows. I can only imagine how overwhelming everything will be for him. From simple things like sugar packets, to big things like a new culture, new language, new people, new family and friends. We are praying that the Lord gives him peace and wraps His loving arms around him and comforts him in ways we never could. We ask for your prayers for Eliyas during this transition and for us, that we would be patient and understanding and seek guidance and wisdom from the Lord as we learn how to parent.

We want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for how you have prayed for us, supported us, encouraged us, reminded us of scripture, loved us, and blessed us financially. I cannot even imagine these last 31 days without the outpouring of love that we have received. On days when I didn't think I could handle anymore, I was reminded of how much we are loved, which in turn reminded me of how faithful God is. We cannot wait to introduce the world to our sweet Eliyas Chase. We hope to have a welcoming party in the next couple of weeks once we see how he is adjusting. We discussed having a big ol' airport party, but just from what we have gotten to know of our son and advice from others who have gone before us, we are going to keep the airport homecoming low key with just immediate family and a few close friends so he's not too overwhelmed. Our initial days and weeks at home will be pretty quiet. We are not ignoring you or trying to keep people away, we just want to be mindful of how this transition will affect him. As you think about us in the coming weeks and months, please pray for us. We know we have some challenging days ahead, but they are worth it! 

Jeremiah 29:11-14

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

Last thing... for real. Our dear family friends who I have known over half my life, Dale & Jeanne Warner, set up a PayPal account to collect funds on our behalf. Some of you have asked for the link so I wanted to share it again. You can find the PayPal link and more info here. The fund closes as soon as we get off the plane, so soon!!! :) We are completely blown away by how God has provided for us during this time of extra expenses and unexpected break from paychecks. Thank you, Warners, for this blessing, and our friends and family for blessing us beyond belief. "Thank you" doesn't even begin to describe our gratitude. 

Not sure how the blogging will go now that this part of our journey is over... I will try to keep you updated with how we are doing! Thank you for being a part of and following our journey!

XOXO!

**lyrics from Matt Redman's "Never Once"

ethiopia. day 18.

my foes are many, they rise against me

but i will hold my ground
i will not fear the war, i will not fear the storm
my help is on the way, my help is on the way

When we landed in Addis at sunrise on October 9th, I never imagined we would still be here 18 days later. That morning, I was concerned about having to stay an extra day or 2 and having to change our flights. Ha. If I only knew...

 

My last post left us headed to embassy on Wednesday the 16th to get some direction from them on our next steps. We were praying for a huge miracle, for embassy to clear us to travel in spite of the Class A classification. Thanks to a contact made by mom, Congressman Kevin Brady, who has been so helpful these last couple of weeks, made a call to the ambassador to Ethiopia in regards to our case. The ambassador made the consular general aware of our case and when we walked into embassy Wednesday morning they were waiting for us and were very aware of all that was going on. The consular and his associate were very kind, compassionate, and understanding. It was such a relief to finally talk to another English speaking American person who cared. I was totally expecting just to be another name, another case on their desk. Unfortunately, they couldn't just overlook the diagnosis as we were hoping, but they did give us hope that the waiver would be approved and that it could be as short as 1-2 weeks. They assured us they would do everything to expedite it once it was submitted to USCIS (US Citizenship & Immigration Services). They sort of acted like it was no big deal, so this gave us big hopes for the waiver getting approved. It finally felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. We spent the rest of the evening completing what we needed to on our end, then handed the waiver off to my mom for the final legwork of collecting local and state health official signatures. We went to bed very hopeful that night!

oh, my God, He will not delay

my refuge and strength always

i will not fear, His promise is true

 my God will come through always, always

A little side not here about this day... To be honest, we have had some rocky days with Eliyas. He is figuring us out, we are figuring him out, he is getting used to having people telling him what to do and having rules and boundaries. It's expected. Any attempts at "conversations" or "talking" to him had not really gone over very well. He wasn't exactly talking to us very much or liking us very much. All that to say, we had to make a couple of trips to embassy that day and the second time we waited in a long line before we even got in. Once we got in and sat down I told him that we appreciated how patient he was being, that we know it's no fun to wait in lines and sit around. I told him that we've had to do a lot of waiting, a lot of work, and a lot of stuff that is no fun, but that we would do it all over again, that he was worth it all and we were never giving up on him. I figured I would get the usual brick wall response, but he turned to me and gave me a huge smile. It was so good for my heart. He gets it... After we were done at embassy he was playing around on Chase's phone and pulled up music somehow, the second song on the playlist was "Whom Shall I Fear (Angel Armies)" by Chris Tomlin. "And nothing formed against me shall stand, You hold the whole world in Your hands, I'm holding onto Your promises, You are faithful, You are faithful..." Such a sweet reminder that God is for us and He is faithful.

trouble surrounds me, chaos abounding

my soul will rest in You

i will not fear the war, i will not fear the storm

my help is on the way, my help is on the way

My mom spent the rest of the week tracking down health officials and we were put in touch with an organization who specializes in advocating for special adoption cases like ours. They told us that we might have a way to just send the waiver electronically and to hold off submitting the waiver via regular mail until we heard from someone at USCIS. My mom got the last signature she needed on Monday 10/21 and we were still waiting to hear from the USCIS contact on how to submit the waiver... to make a long story short, it is now Saturday 10/26 and we are still waiting to submit it. This is driving us absolutely crazy, we feel like we are just wasting time with it just sitting, not being submitted. We have been instructed over and over not to send it the normal way because it will cause delays. Last night we got a call from someone at USCIS that someone else would be calling us on Monday (they were out Friday) with instructions on submitting it. The question is if we will mail it as normal or if we will have the originals submitted at US Embassy in Addis. She sounded like the embassy route would be quicker for us in the long run because embassy could submit it 

to be expedited somehow. If that is the case, my mom will have to overnight the originals to a traveling adoptive family to bring to us in Addis. The next possible person to send it to won't be in Addis till Friday... so we will be 3.5 weeks in and just submitting the waiver. :-/ This makes us so anxious, but we are trying really hard to rest completely in the fact that God is in control. Not us, not USCIS, not embassy, not anyone. ~Jeremiah 29:11-14 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.~

i lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord...

from You Lord, from You Lord

Someone has asked for us to share what we do with our days here (great idea Kim :)) so I will try to give a short recap of what we have been up to! I think we all know the first few days were spent running from hospital, to lab, to embassy, crying in our room, Chase sleeping off his sickness, eating Zebra Grill take-away (as they call it here) almost every meal, and E playing lots of video games. Sunday morning, things started looking up. Chase was feeling almost 100% better, I had renewed hope, Eliyas was in an especially good mood and talking to us a little more, and my sweet friend Ashley and her husband arrived to Addis to pick up their son to bring him home! Along with Ashley's family, there was another dad, David, staying at the guest house picking up his 2 boys. Ashley's son and these 2 are close in age to Eliyas so they had a blast together. They spent every waking moment they could together playing soccer, playing video games, watching TV/movies, telling jokes... it was so sweet to see them interacting together. Always huddled around each other, touching, hugging, holding hands, arms draped around shoulders.  

I think it was Monday of that week that Chase and Eliyas went to play golf with David and his 2 boys. Who knew there was a golf course in Addis Ababa? They had a great time. Chase got a sunburn and Eliyas is still asking to go again! (Can I tell you how cute it is when he says "golf" with his little Ethiopian accent?!) There were lots of boys v. dads soccer tournaments at the guest house that week! I think the dads even won a few times! I don't think I can describe how sweet it was to watch these 4 older boys play soccer with their new dads. Something they probably could not have imagined a few months ago. So thankful for a God who redeems! On Tuesday we had lunch at a yummy, American feeling burger place, Sishu, with our friend from Canada and his 3 Ethiopian sons followed by an afternoon at the Hilton. It was one of David's son's birthdays, what better way to spend it than swimming at the Hilton?! It felt like home, enough so that I even dared to have ice in my drink! We ended the night with dinner at Top View. It was a really nice place that again, felt very American, with good food and good prices. At the nicer restaurants we have been to in Ethiopia, you still don't pay more than $5 a plate!

We got to spend one evening at Habesha 2000 where he had dinner and a show! Traditional dinner accompanied by traditional dancing- SO entertaining. We got to go last trip and were so excited to bring Eliyas back. The kids got a kick out of it (after E got over the original embarrassment of it! lol) and we had a great time! Other than these particular events, our typical days start with breakfast at the guest house- sauteed vegetables, pancakes, another fried pastry, some type of cake, toast, fresh squeezed pineapple or orange juice, horrible coffee (what the heck?! We are in the birthplace of coffee!!) and bananas or cantaloupe. (Oh and some type of deli looking meat and cheese, along with some type of oatmeal looking stuff?) Basically a lot of carbs and sugar, as is with every meal in Ethiopia! Most days we go to lunch with other families at one of a handful of restaurants that AWAA frequents. Almost all restaurants here serve pizza, pasta, and sometimes a handful of traditional foods or hamburger. You spend a lot of time in the car getting anywhere- traffic has been really bad this trip! No A/C means the windows are open to get a breeze and you are constantly breathing in all the exhaust and dust, along with smelling the herds of sheep or the livestock place on the side of the road. We've both had cold/allergy symptoms for a few days that we figure is from all the junk outside. Our afternoons have been mostly spent at the guest house, playing soccer and also basketball now that Chase constructed a basketball goal! We order in Zebra Grill pretty frequently for dinner, much to my dismay, and have found a new cafe that we like to walk to that serves a yummy spaghetti with meat sauce for less than $2 and a delicious macchiato for less than 50 cents!

We have started Eliyas' TB treatment, as required by the CDC, and it has to be given at the hospital every morning before 9am. I believe we get to thank the CDC for that lovely requirement. So we get to spend $15 for a cab every morning to sit in traffic all to have E take 2 pills! By we, I mean Chase... most mornings I sleep in while this is going on. :) We have said goodbye to about 8 families since we have been here. I am so happy for everyone that is going home and families being completed, but it is really hard to say goodbye every time, wondering when we will ever get our turn. As my new friend Tiffany reminded me, at least we are getting to meet lots of cool people! :) And we really are. It is truly a blessing to be surrounded by all these wonderful families who are all here with the same end goal. We will leave Ethiopia with a lot more friends than we had before! :) Tonight, as we said goodbye to a family, E told Chase, "No America. Me, you, mom, live in Ethiopia." Chase said, "What about our families? They will be sad!" E said, "They are weak." Funny story, but I pray this isn't all too confusing for him! 

We got to visit the BEAUTIFUL Gorge last week. They call it Ethiopia's Grand Canyon and it was breathtaking. It is a 2 hour scenic drive outside of the city, with beautiful views of the countryside, and no fumes or exhaust to bother you! I did get a little carsick, but nothing a little Dramamine couldn't fix! We hiked around the mountain and just so happened to get attacked by huge hawk looking birds that we found out later were eagles! I was walking with foil wrapped sandwiches in my hand when one knocked me on my shoulder and hit the sandwiches out of my hand! If you know me and how I'm scared of bugs, you can only imagine how freaked out I was to be hit by a ginormous bird!! Later, Chase was eating his sandwich under the bridge when one swooped down and scratched his hand, thank goodness he didn't let go of the sandwich! :) We discovered E is quite the daredevil. He liked to get close to the edges of the cliffs and scare us to death, run up and down the steep hills and rocks... he's not like his dad at ALL!!! ;-) We also got to see baboons up close and personal! That was neat!

We decided to intrude on one of Eliyas' friends going away party at the orphanage and had a combined going away party on Thursday 10/24. We had been holding off on it, since a going away wasn't exactly for sure, but we decided to go ahead and do it and just tell the US government, "Sorry! We have to leave now, we've had the going away party!!" It was our first trip back to Abenezer since picking E up the first day and I wasn't prepared for how emotional it was going to be for me! Eliyas got out of the van and started making his rounds hugging and kissing every kid and nanny he saw. He went from room to room hugging and kissing older kids, toddlers, and babies. It really hit me that this has been his family. This is all he's known for the last 15 months. And as far as orphanages go, I would have to say it is one of the best. 

I can't even tell you how special the party was. It started off by Eliyas (and the other 2 kids that were leaving) getting changed into a traditional outfit. Then the party started and all the other kids presented them with pictures they drew, along with a big hug. The nannies and staff prayed over our kids and families in Amharic. I have no idea what was being said, but it was so emotional for me! We could not have asked for a better place for Eliyas to be before we could get to him. They love these kids and it shows. The older kids did a couple of dances to music in Amharic, it was so sweet. And a party isn't a party without cake and snacks! They had cakes made with their names in Amharic, along with other homemade snacks and sodas. It was such a sweet and thoughtful ceremony and a day I'm sure Eliyas will never forget. Thankfully, we know quite a few of the parents of the kids that have families, so we will be able to keep the kids in touch throughout the years. Something they probably never imagined possible! 

I should add that this last week has brought us more good days with Eliyas. The walls are starting to come down and we are starting to see more of our sweet, funny, loving boy. He is voluntarily giving hugs and "I love yous" and jokes with us, this is quite the change from last week. He is learning to understand that we sometimes have to say no and make him do things he doesn't want to and we are learning how to make him feel secure, loved, and reassured. We are all learning more about each other every day, and let me tell you, we have so much to learn from him. 

If anyone is still reading this, I will close here. Some people have asked if there is a way to help with the financial aspect of this unexpected extended stay. We cannot thank you all enough for your support and prayers! Our dear friends have set up a PayPal account to accept donations on our behalf. If you are interested in helping us this way, you can find the link along with more information at bestlocalinfo.com. Can I tell you what a blessing this is to us? While we are here, the costs are piling on by the day while Chase's income has completely stopped. You would think it would be cheap to stay in a third world country, but it is costing us about $200 a day. We are trusting that the Lord will provide and see us through! Please feel free to share our story and the link above with anyone you think might feel led to support us through monetary means or even more importantly, prayer!

We are praying for a final answer on how to submit the waiver on Monday and for it to be approved soon after! We cannot thank you all enough for your prayers. Please, please don't stop now. We are amazed on a daily basis by our great God who is working all of this for our good and His glory. We are trusting in His great plan! Check back next week for an update!

Isaiah 40:31

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

and though my heart is torn i will praise you in this storm

i was sure by now,
God you would have reached down

and wiped our tears away

stepped in and saved the day

but once again, i say amen, and it's still raining

Just wanted to give an update on where we are... I will try to make this quick, but I have a feeling it might not be. You've been warned. :) First and foremost, we do not have the words to express how thankful we are for all of your prayers, words of encouragement, offers of assistance, reaching out to contacts, etc. We are completely overwhelmed by everyone back home (and in Canada, and maybe even elsewhere!) interceding for us during this trying week. God has used you all to remind us that He hasn't left us, He is in every detail, and He is holding our world in his hands. Some days, some minutes, or hours, it is hard for me to truly accept what I know to be true, but the scripture, encouragement, and prayers from others are serving as a mighty reminder of what an awesome God we serve. We know He is hearing every cry, and He has a great plan even when we can't see it. ~Psalm 34: 17-18 - When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.~

as the thunder rolls

i barely hear your whisper through the rain

"i'm with you"

and as your mercy falls

i raise my hands and praise the God who gives

and takes away

When I last left off, we were headed to the hospital the next day to find his test results. I hadn't really given much thought to "worst case scenario # 4", as it was too dreadful to think about, and our agency has never had a positive sputum test. So I figured there is no way our healthy boy could possibly be the first!!! So just to give you a good story of what the norm is here... Thursday morning the in-country staff made a call to the lab to see what the status was. The lab said the results were sent to the hospital and they could not give her any more information, we would have to contact the hospital. We arrive at the hospital at 11:15... we waited 40 minutes for someone to come down and lead us to "where we needed to go." We arrive at an office, and the nurse is asleep at her desk!! I kid you not. I said to Chase, "Oh this is going to be a good story for later!" We have been waiting over a week + 40 minutes in this hospital and you are sleeping at your desk? TIA folks, TIA. She tells us that no, the lab had not sent the results and we would need to go upstairs to talk to someone else. We get to another nurse upstairs who, after making a few phone calls, determined the results were going to be here "in 30 minutes." Of course we didn't trust that, so we told her we would go ahead and head down to the lab. 

After a 30 minute drive we arrived at the lab and they first tell us that they had already been sent to the hospital last week. Umm....what??!!! After further investigation, oh no, they weren't sent, "We will have them for you in 5 minutes." After another 30 minutes they tell us that actually, they can only release the results to the hospital, they can't tell us anything. They agreed to give the sealed results to our agency's nurse that was with us to drive directly to the hospital. They say this will take another 30 minutes. By that time it was past 2pm and we were all hungry, so we went to grab lunch while the nurse waited on the results. A little while later we get a call that oh, no, the nurse wasn't allowed to drive the results after all, but a courier is taking the results to the hospital and wait on a call from the hospital to let you know they're there.

At about 3pm we got a call from our in-country staff saying the doctor wants us to come to the hospital immediately. I had a sense that something was wrong, why all the sudden do they want us there immediately? Still, I held out hope till we walked upstairs and our agency's nurse was waiting on us. She led us to the doctor and said, "Good luck, I think it's best that I take Eliyas to play while you talk." I immediately lost it, as I knew what she meant, and thought I was surely going to throw up. It didn't take long before the doctor told us that our son has active TB. I remember sobbing so loudly and him telling me, "Madam, it's not a big deal. TB is totally treatable." Through the tears I told him it was not going to be "treatable" for us to be apart for 6 months... he then made it worse by telling us that actually, it would be 6 months of treatment + a 9 week retest. I don't remember much else of the conversation other than he was surprised by the results, as his skin test was negative and his chest x-ray was clean. But he would not budge from giving him a "Class A" classification which meant he was not clear to travel. 

We begged and pleaded and cried, but that was it... he told us a waiver was unlikely due to his age and that he would not recommend him for travel. We asked how likely it was that he was contagious and he said very unlikely, since he is a child and has absolutely no symptoms. We told him how that made no sense then, that he would not change the classification and he blamed it on the CDC. So I then asked him how we even know that these are the correct test results. His file read "Elias X"!! He showed me his picture inside his file and said that is how they know... I explained the mix-up last week with our agency being given info on "another Eliyas" and he assured me that this was not a mix-up. I kept repeating Romans 12:12 to myself as I was sitting in that chair, "be patient in tribulation, be patient in tribulation, be patient in tribulation..." 

and i'll praise You in this storm

and i will lift my hands

for You are who You are 

no matter where i am

and every tear i've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side
and though my heart is torn

i will praise You in this storm

We made it back to our guest house and I spent the rest of the evening trying to keep it together. I cannot even wrap my mind around 9 months without him. How on earth can we abandon him here for 9 months? We promised him we would be together forever the day before, and that he would never sleep in an orphanage bed again. How would he ever trust us if we left him? We contacted our agency, who made contacts for us, and tried to start making contacts with congressmen and anyone else back home who might be able to help. I should make it clear that this is the US government causing this hold up. Ethiopia could care less if he travels. The "panel physician" has strict CDC guidelines to follow and cannot change his classification or recommend him for travel because he did test positive for mycobacterium tuberculosis in his culture. All of this hold up is from our government, who is partially shutdown. We were told again that evening by several people that a waiver is unlikely because his "paper age" is over 10. To top it all off, Chase had been feeling horrible since we landed Wednesday and was feeling even worse on Thursday. So unfortunately, he was pretty much out of it once we got back. I felt like I was all alone trying to fight this battle, during my first week of parenthood!  I prayed that this would all miraculously be over in the morning when we went to embassy, that they would agree it was a mistake and we would be on our way next Tuesday. That night, I had a nightmare that all this was happening, only to wake up to find out it wasn't a nightmare.

i remember when 

i stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and You raised me up again

my strength is almost gone

how can i carry on

if i can't find you

Friday morning, we set out to the hospital to beg the doctor to change his classification. He wouldn't budge so we headed over to embassy to see if we could get some answers from them. To add to the nurse that was asleep at her desk the day before, the girl at the desk at embassy that was "too busy to see us" that day (we just went anyways) was on Facebook when we arrived. Seriously? We made our way to window #2 and I only got a few sentences out before the guy asked, "Are you Kerlin family?" I said yes and he told me that they couldn't see us today. There was only one person that would be able to help us and they were out, and don't we know that embassy closes at 12 on Fridays? Conveniently, they are also closed Monday for Columbus Day, and Tuesday for some Muslim holiday. "We will see you Wednesday afternoon! Thank you, have a good day!" I told him thank you as the tears poured. The only upside to this trip was that they had the nicest bathroom in all of Ethiopia, I could have cried in there all day.

i lift my eyes unto the hills

where does my help come from?

my help comes from the Lord

the Maker of heaven and earth

We headed back to the guest house after that. Chase was feeling even worse and slept until dinner time and I let Eliyas play too many video games and watch too much TV while I spent the afternoon trying to hide tears and trying not to be too angry. I was angry. Angry at God, angry at the doctor, angry at the embassy, angry at the government, angry at Ethiopia for having such a high rate of TB ("Madam, over 50% of people in Ethiopia have TB, it's really not that big of a deal," the doctor told me.) I just about lost all hope that afternoon. I knew in my head that none of this was surprising God, but I was having a hard time believing that He hadn't forgotten us. How could this be happening?? 

Throughout the day, family and friends prayed, sent encouraging messages and scriptures, and asked for prayer on our behalf. I can tell you that just as I thought I was going to come apart at the seams, your prayers and encouragement held me together. (I keep saying I, because Chase was literally dead to the world for the entire day after we got back from embassy. That didn't help anything at all!) Friends and family all throughout the day were making contacts and trying to help find all 3 of us a fast way home! We are so grateful for those of you who did lots of legwork on our behalf! We went to bed that evening knowing that friends and family were going to be gathering at my parent's church to pray for us while we were sleeping that night. We prayed for miracles to take place and at that point, we mostly needed peace, renewed hope, and healing for Chase so he could help me through this nightmare! 

I woke up Saturday to some good news from a couple different people. One specifically is a fellow adoptive mama that we met in Ethiopia last trip. She is from Canada, not with our agency, and just happened to be picking up her beautiful daughter while we were there visiting Eliyas. Just in the last couple of weeks we have connected on Facebook and I had a message from her that she had been tracking down people throughout the night and had some very positive news from some people who have just recently had the same experience-- with a good outcome!!! She got me in touch with a mom who has been an amazing resource so far and has given me such hope that we might have a chance at a waiver. It might take a while (7 weeks for them), but I finally had hope that we might not have to leave our boy for 9 months. It wasn't till later on that evening that I realized, wow, God is in every detail. Had our paths not briefly crossed in Ethiopia a couple of months ago, she would have never been able to connect me with this contact! It was a good reminder that He hasn't left us, He's not giving up on us, and He is working out every detail. ~Philippians 4:7 - And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.~ Colossians 1:17 - And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.~

Today has been a good day. I have more hope, more peace, Chase is feeling better for the most part, and Eliyas has been especially cheerful and in a good mood. To top it all off, my friend Ashley arrived in Ethiopia with her husband to pick up her handsome boy to bring him home!! We have been online friends since about the time we got E's referral, and I am so thrilled that we got to meet in our sons' home country! I am going to bed this evening with the 2 guys I love most in the world sleeping under the same roof and I know that we serve a mighty God who has this whole thing under control. ~James 1: 2-4 - Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.~

Thank you for your prayers friends, we ask you to please not stop now. We go back to embassy Wednesday morning and we are hoping and praying for a miracle!

**lyrics to Casting Crowns' "Praise You In This Storm"