10 Days of Birthday!

Oh my word, y'all... I can't even believe this picture was taken JUST one year ago today. (And I can't believe it's been 9 months since I blogged?! What!!? Where did that time go?!!!) On this day, one year ago today, we were anxiously awaiting news about Eliyas' waiver. We REALLY thought it could be any day and I could hardly stand the thought of one more hour of uncertainty, or another plate of pasta, tibs, or puffy pancakes. Wow. There are just no words to describe how thankful we are that we are here as a family of 3. I am crying my eyes out just remembering that month... the fear, the worry, the anxiety... the thought of leaving my son for 9 MONTHS?!  BUT God. God is faithful. God had a plan far beyond what any doctor or USCIS official could see. God would move mountains and perform miracles and we would find ourselves in the good ol' US of A just 6 short days later. If you're unfamiliar with our fun story, you can read about those miracles in this post and go back from there. :)

And now? 1 year from this picture? Now I can't wait to get back on the next plane to Ethiopia. After Eliyas has an American passport and has no chance of getting stuck again, of course. :) It didn't take long for me to miss it... much shorter than I thought actually. I can almost smell it when I see pictures. We do hope to get back just as soon as we can. Well, really sooner than we "can". As soon as we can afford to I should say. 

So what have we been up to? I'll try to fill you in! I've wanted to post before now, but I've struggled with exactly what to share. For one, life isn't near as interesting or suspenseful, (thank goodness!) as it was when we were in Ethiopia. No news is good news, right?! Also, it's hard to know how much to share... E is pretty private, well, he at least doesn't want his pictures and life story going out on Facebook. (So just pretend you never read this really. :) ) We've had some tough days, sure, and at some point maybe I will be able to give a brief synopsis of our first year- if for nothing else so people that are walking down the same path we are can know what to expect. But for now, let me just share the fun stuff. :) 

We are celebrating Eliyas' "10 Days of Birthday" this week! Eliyas asked for some bath toys a month or 2 ago and I was SO excited to run to Target and buy some bath toys and fizzy color drops. We missed the years filled with those sorts of things and I was thrilled to be able to get some "little kid" things for him. As I was driving home that day I thought of doing a 10 day birthday celebration to celebrate the years we missed leading up to his 10th birthday on the 10th! His golden birthday! He's never celebrated his birthday before, nor did he even know his birthday in Ethiopia, so we wanted to make this super special for him. So November 1st we celebrated his "1st Birthday" and he received a book of fairy tales to read at bedtime. (He loves Jack & The Giant Beanstalk and Three Billy Goats Gruff!) For his "2nd Day of Birthday" he got Silly Putty, a puzzle, and some laser finger lights. On his 3rd day he got a magnetic toy and glow stars to put on his wall. The best so far was tonight, his "4th Day of Birthday", when he received an over-the-door basketball goal for his room! Tonight as he was getting ready for bed he found the card we gave him on the first day on the floor of his room, it had fallen out of the book, and he picked it up and said, "Mom! Don't throw this away! I am keeping this forever, it is so special to me." I about melted in a puddle on the floor. 

We are excited to continue the 10 day birthday marathon with his Nerf wars & obstacle course birthday party this weekend! It is so fun to celebrate him. He is for sure enjoying it, and the way he says, "Thanks Mom & Dad!" every day just melts my heart. Where we are today... compared to where we were a year ago... well, literally and figuratively, I just can't believe it. God has been so good to us.

This last year has brought with it challenges for sure, but more than that we are aware more every day of the wonderful blessing we have received. I still can't believe that God chose us to receive this blessing. At the beginning of this school year, Eliyas had to write an acrostic poem using his name. I was poking around in his desk during parent/teacher night and found this. I couldn't think of truer words to describe this little light of our lives and my heart just about bursted knowing that he could see these things about himself. God has definitely given him some confidence. :) And hello?! He hasn't been speaking English that long, he did this way better than I would have!!! 

E - "Energetic" He definitely has lots of energy, but typically not the crazy "boy" type of energy where he can't sit down. He has those days, but he can usually be tamed... especially if the TV is on! Ha! On the soccer field or basketball court, or playing outside though, he does seem to have endless energy and lots of stamina. He is an amazing and natural athlete.

L - "Loveing" Oh so true. (I mean, he does have his days where this might not be my first word of choice. ;-) We all have those days, of course!) He is quick to give out hugs and kisses, tells us he loves us all the time, tells us what he loves about us, he is caring and compassionate. (All HUGE, HUGE things for us as we were prepared for attachment to be an issue... as with any adopted child you have to worry about that, especially with an older child. We don't take these things for granted for one second.) He loves little kids, especially little girls. He is waiting to have a little sister of his own, he thinks if he has a sister she will listen to him. A brother might not listen to him he says. ;-) 

I - "I like to play" Ha! If you ask Eliyas what he misses most about Ethiopia, he will tell you, "playing outside." :) When he first came home, one of his biggest struggles was that we wouldn't let him just go off wherever and whenever he pleased. (Now that we know him better, we know that we can trust him to be careful, responsible, and he's actually probably more street smart that I am, we have loosened up on this A LOT. And life is easier because of it.)  He loves playing outside with neighborhood friends, or just riding his bike. He loves to be outside.

Y - "You are going to like me" Oh sweet boy, you nailed it. He is sweet, charming, endearing, and the life of the party. Unless maybe you've caught him on a day where he didn't get enough sleep (he may or may not be like his mama on that one), you can't help but like him. His smile lights up a room, his little shrug of his shoulders and eyebrow moves... let's just say he doesn't have a hard time getting what he wants and he has us wrapped around his finger. 

A - "Always smiling" And he seriously has the best smile. Hands down. You really can't stay upset with him when he flashes that million dollar smile! He is going to be breaking hearts all over town, sooner than I would like to think, I am sure! :-/

S - "Silly funny" Ah, yes. He keeps us laughing all the time. He's always joking, hiding behind doors to scare us, and is amazingly witty, for not even being completely fluent in English yet! Chase said something on Sunday with "y'all" in the sentence and Eliyas said, "You talk like you've never seen the city before!" If I could just bottle up his laugh and share it with everyone, I think we could solve all the problems in the world. 

To sum it up, our Eliyas is simply amazing. I know, we all say that about our kids, but really. He is. ;-) He fits perfectly into our family and some days I really can't believe that he hasn't been with us for the last 9 years. I can't wait to spend the next 70 years as his mom! What an honor.

So I thought I would fill you in on the last year and tell you about how school has gone, basketball, and soccer, his first Halloween... but it's now midnight so I will try to get back to it another time. As we celebrate Eliyas' "10 Days of Birthday"  this week and as we are coming up on our one year homecoming anniversary... I am reminded of ALL of you who prayed, loved, and supported us home... and prayed, loved, and supported us once we got home, of course. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I can't imagine those 32 days in Ethiopia without the support we had both in Ethiopia and across the world. God was with us every step of the way, and He's been right there with us the last 359 days. We are blessed beyond measure. 

Ephesians 2:20-21 

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

watching airplanes

The people have asked for a blog update and I think it is about time. I meant to be better at updating this, but it's just kind of different when there aren't any big specific events happening. 

What have we been up to? One way to describe where we are right now is "watching airplanes." You know the song, "I'm just sitting round here watching airplanes take off and fly..." Well, in the adoption world, the first few months home with your child where things are all rainbows and butterflies are known as "the honeymoon." Our first few weeks in Ethiopia with Eliyas were rough. We were expecting our honeymoon to start right away, so we were a little shocked that there was no champagne or roses. By God's grace we got through and about the third week we turned a huge corner. It was like he all the sudden started trusting us and believing we truly loved him. I can only imagine all that was going on in his heart and his head those first few weeks. Why weren't we picking him up and going home like all the other families? We weren't telling him much about the whole waiver dilemma, we just kept saying we were waiting on embassy. But he is a smart kid, and I'm learning more every day how observant he is. He had to have been picking up on the fact that I was a WRECK. Things were crazy. Chase was sick, I was falling apart at the seams. 

Anyways... since we've been home, things have been going pretty smoothly. Sure we have our hard days, tears, breakdowns... but luckily for us, this is all new. Parenting, parenting an older child, parenting an adopted child, parenting a child from a hard place... We have nothing to compare this to. There are days when I can't imagine having another child. Then there are days when I'm ready to sign up to adopt again, heck maybe siblings next time! (By the way, babies seriously scare me now. Children who sleep 11 hours a night and can get their own OJ from the fridge and banana off the counter when mom wants to sleep in till 10 AM... those are some pretty awesome children to introduce you to the parenthood thing.) We are learning so much every day, all three of us. We read lots of books before E came home, I've read tons of blogs, but nothing really prepares you for what it's like in real life. I forget most of what the books say, what I do remember doesn't seem to work. Ask for a do-over in this house? World War 3. "Would you like a compromise?" gets you a nice, "Would YOU like a compromise??!?!!!" The things a 9 year old with limited (though getting scarily better by the day) English can say are pretty shocking. (Surely I was nothing like this as a 9 year old, right Mom???? :)) I am finding new things every day that "work" as far as disciplining goes, and celebrate the little victories. Disciplining a 9 year old, who has probably never been disciplined before, is like setting boundaries for a 2 year old in a 9 year old's body. It's new for him and it's scary. 

I'm getting to the airplanes part, I promise... we have had some wonderful days with Eliyas home. His laugh is amazing. His smile will melt your heart... not to mention it helps him get away with a whole lot. He is trusting us more every day with pieces of his past. I sometimes feel like there is no way he has been somewhere else the past 9 years, surely he's always slept in his little fortress of a bed a few feet away from us. Then there's the tears and grief to remind us of the truth. He has been through more than I could ever imagine. And he's come out smiling and loving. Wow. What grace. He told me this week, "Now I know that you're my mom." I said, "What do you mean?" And he said, "In Ethiopia, I was scared. Now, I know you're my mom and I love you." I pray he knows this deep down. He is forever loved, forever our son, and we are not going anywhere. 

What is Eliyas like? What does he like to do? He loves playing outside; soccer, basketball (probably his new favorite), football, riding his bike... he loves going to Main Event or Gattiland and playing video games. He loves watching movies or playing video games at home as well. :) He loves going to Jumpstreet (note, any trampoline is now called "jumpstreet" due to the name of the indoor trampoline park. :)) Let me share with you some of our favorite things about our precious boy. He is a protector. Some days, when he's about to go outside and play with his friends, he tells me, "If you're scared, I can stay inside with you." He insists that I lock the front door or close the garage door behind him. He is loving and caring. When I see him playing with friends (from a distance... because play dates in our home or on our terms are a whole different game :)), he is always making sure they're okay if they fall, taking the blame if someone got hurt, even when it clearly wasn't his fault, giving hugs if someone is upset or crying. Kids are always coming to the door asking if he can play. We are blessed to have a group of kids right around the corner from him that he gets to play with almost every day. Little did we know when we moved in this neighborhood, that God would have this group of older boys, ranging from probably 2nd grade to 8th grade, to be our boy's friend. They're so sweet with him. They love to play soccer with him and tell him, and us, how good he is. They even say his name right! Which always surprises me. :) He is so brave and he is so smart. He started school on January 7th and he is just amazing us with how well he is doing. The first couple of days at home, after school, were tough. The adjustment brought out lots of emotions and it was hard. Really hard. 

Hard moments, like the first week of school, are moments that make me scared the honeymoon is over. We read so much about the really hard stuff in adoption, people tell you constantly, "Oh, it's just the honeymoon phase..." Hinting that the crazy is about to come out. It's like I am constantly waiting for the bottom to fall out. For the most part I feel like I do a decent job of living in the now, appreciating the tiny victories, the big victories. Celebrating the good days. When the hard stuff does come out, i.e. first week of school, I immediately go to this place of terror that this is it. The other shoe has dropped. Stuff is about to hit the fan. He's going to start lying, hoarding food, destroying things, manipulating, and on and on. When you mention in an adoption Facebook group that things aren't going so well, you might hear something like, "At about 3 months, they start becoming more comfortable with you so lots of these behaviors come out." And you don't really know what life after the honeymoon is like. You hear stories that are scary. You wonder how you could possibly go through what these families go through.

So that is what I mean by watching airplanes. I'd say we are still on the honeymoon, for the most part, or maybe starting to become comfortable newlyweds. I'm not saying it's all sunshine and roses, but for the most part, things are good. So I kind of live in this stage of waiting for the airplane to come to take us to the island of really hard stuff. I pray it doesn't. I pray that God would help me to live in the now, and to not worry about what could come. I pray that if we do get to that island, that I would be reminded of God's goodness. Of his promises that I know are true. I have learned so much on our journey. Gained SO many new, amazing, lifelong friends. (If you feel like you don't have any friends, just adopt. You'll gain this indescribably amazing community that will carry you through on days when you feel like you can't walk on your own.) I have learned that things aren't always easy, that life isn't always easy, and that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. So whatever lies ahead, I know that our God will sustain us. He will guide us and direct our steps. 

We are blessed beyond measure. At the end of the day, we are still in awe that God chose us to be this boy's parents. As I was telling a friend today, it feels crazy that they let us get on a plane and take him to America. We never took a test. (Or maybe that's called a home study... lol) Some days I don't feel like we are ready for this, but yet he trusts us anyways, loves us, forgives us when we make mistakes. And I think Chase and I are reminded on a daily basis that we are just blessed to be here. To be home as a family of 3. There were plenty of days in Ethiopia that we weren't sure that that was going to happen anytime in the next 9 months. God has performed miracle after miracle, and we are so thankful. 

We had a great time celebrating Eliyas at a "Welcome Home" party a couple weeks ago.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

i'm gonna make this place your home

hold on to me as we go

as we roll down this unfamiliar road

and although this wave is stringing us along

just know you're not alone

cause i'm gonna make this place your home

We have been home 29 days. Some tiring, some hard, but mostly beautiful and full of joy and laughter. 29 days and a few hours ago, we finally landed in Austin after 32 long days in Ethiopia. I don't even have words to describe how I felt when the plane touched down in Austin, it was such a relief. I guess I'll fill you in on how our trip home went and go from there. To be honest, this blog is more helpful for me than it is to anyone else, because it forces me to write things down so I can remember this stuff in the future!

We departed Addis mostly without a hitch. Eliyas got the biggest kick out of the escalator. He got on it just fine so I thought he must have known what it was, then once it started moving he got the strangest look on his face and said, "I don't like!!" Then when we got to the top he said again that he didn't like it, he preferred to use his legs! We were pulled off to the side and questioned for 15-20 minutes about all the jewelry we were bringing home with us (14:Hope) and then found out that our seats were not together, after we were assured by the lady at the Ethiopian Airlines office the day before, and the lady at the ticket counter at the airport that we were. We all had middle seats, so the people who we forced into our middle seats so we could sit next to Eliyas weren't very happy... It is a 17 hour flight after all. I took 3mg melatonin, put on my eyemask and earplugs and all in all, slept probably 14-15 hours of the flight. It was quite wonderful. Chase and Eliyas weren't so lucky, but Eliyas did amazingly well. He watched movies or played games on the tablet and never complained or got antsy. I couldn't believe it! We had a long layover at Dulles and he and his traveling buddy, Mulualem, got to have their first American meal, Wendy's. It was fun having the Walkers at the airport with us, and fun for Eliyas to have Mulualem to talk to and hang out with as he was experiencing America for the first time. He may or may not have tried to speak Amharic to the first African American person he saw. :) We wondered if he would do that! 

Just landed at Dulles! America's newest citizens!!

settle down, it'll all be clear

don't pay no mind to the demons

they fill you with fear

the trouble it might drag you down

if you get lost, you can always be found

We had a beautiful reunion in Austin with our family and closest friends. Eliyas made his rounds meeting his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and made quick friends with Nahom and Dagne, our Ethiopian friends. It was such a blessing to have them there, for Eliyas to be able to feel a little bit of normalcy and speak his language in the midst of all these crazy Americans. After a quick meal at Chuy's, and it was better than I remembered, we made it home. As we walked around showing Eliyas everything, it felt like he has always been here, like he had just been away for a while and was finally back. I cannot imagine this house without him. I can't imagine going to sleep without checking on him or waking up without his, "Good morning, honey!" as he has started this week. :) Our days have been filled with learning how to ride his bike, playing soccer, basketball, watching movies (loving Cinderella!), running errands with mom, meeting new friends and family, and our daily visit from the health department nurse for TB meds. In general, he is easy going and happy, but he definitely has an opinion about things, especially clothes!! All these cute outfits I had planned for him... he won't wear any of them. :) He is kind and caring and gives lots of hugs and kisses. His smile and laugh bring me so much joy. 

He is doing amazingly well. I know this is our honeymoon phase, but we are praying that things stay this easy. He seems to be attaching very well, we are so thankful for that. He has started telling us things about his life in Ethiopia, and little stories of when he was younger. We're so thankful he is trusting us with his past and love learning about the years we missed with him. We are both aware that we might have some rough days ahead as he starts grieving what he has lost and everything sinks in... but for now we are soaking up the laughter and smiles and praying for his sweet heart as he transitions. His English is getting SO good. It's a little sad though, because we know he will probably soon lose his Amharic, speaking it anyways. They say they will be able to understand it, but won't be able to speak it very well after as little as 6 months. He already told me he is forgetting how to write it and it seemed to make him a little sad. :( Poor guy. Even these little things are such a reminder of all he has been through in his short life. 

just know you're not alone

cause i'm gonna make this place your home

I'll share some of our favorite cute & funny sayings:

- "Good morning, my honey!" He has started calling me honey this week, "Thank you honey!" "Hello, my honey!" He just melts my heart 10,000 times a day!
- things are "strong" if they are too hard, too hot
- upstairs and downstairs are used to describe a lot of things. When he wants the sunroof in my car opened, "Mom, upstairs!" When he wants to go to the park that is further away, rather than the one a couple houses down, "Park downstairs."  Same with backyard and frontyard.
- E: Mom, talk to me. Don't just drive. 
Me: Okay, what do you want to talk about?

E: Love. Like family. You, me, dad, family. Family is love.

- "All of us day" = all the time, every day

- "You no smile me" = don't laugh at me

- "working" = cooking, "Mom, you work my food?"

- "Thank you God, forgive us, have a nice lunch," as he fell off his bike :)

We are thankful every day for this blessing God has entrusted us with. We cannot believe we get to be his parents. This time last year we were still waiting to send off our dossier, I think we had just received our finalized home study at the beginning of December. We never imagined he would be in our lives already. We were thinking we had 2-3 years of waiting ahead of us as we waited for a 0-2 year old. I am so thankful that God opened our hearts to the older child, he is the biggest blessing we have ever experienced. (Not to mention... there are no diapers, no sleepless nights, no potty training... :)) I am kinda loving my 9 hours of sleep a night... at this point I don't know if we will ever do the baby thing!! At first, I was hesitant to adopt an older child because we had never been parents before. How in the heck are we supposed to know what to do with a 9 year old?! But, hey, you gotta start somewhere. We wouldn't know what to do with a 6 month old either. While it definitely has its different challenges, I think in some ways we are lucky because we have no one to compare him to. He doesn't have older siblings who did or didn't do this at the age of 9, so we all have a clean slate. To be honest, there are hard times, as there are with any child. The first 3 weeks in Ethiopia were rough. We turned a corner at 3 weeks and things have been completely different since then. And I know we might turn another corner, but no matter what happens or how hard it gets, this is what God has called us to. He will see us through. Nobody every promised it would be easy, parenting biological or adopted children.

Would you believe me if I told you I'm ready to go back to Ethiopia? I'm not sure if I'm missing it mostly for Eli's sake, as in, I want to take him to experience the comforts of his home, or if I'm missing the macchiatos, the simplicity of things, being together as a family 24/7. Maybe it's the "chiggaryehlem" ("no problem" in Amharic) way of life. Probably a combination of everything, but if someone offered us free plane tickets tonight, I would be on a plane in a heartbeat. Maybe just for a week or 10 days this time, but I am ready. :) I thought it would take 5 years before I would think about going back. I don't know how many times I said, "We will NEVER be coming back here," during those final days... never say never! 

I will leave you with some airport pictures below... I will try to post some other pictures soon! They're kind of hard to come by... he refuses to take pictures 99% of the time. We cannot thank you all enough for your support and prayers! 

awaiting USA, day 21. "no big deal!"

If it's not one thing it's another! Chase came down with flu-like symptoms last night. Chills, fever, aching all over. Eliyas also felt like he had a fever before he went to bed last night so I gave him some Tylenol. This morning, Eliyas woke up complaining of a stomach ache and headache and I was barely able to get him out of bed to go to the hospital for his stinking pills. I had the pediatrician look at him there. He said, "He is having conjunctivitis and a sore throat, he has the flu." I didn't know conjunctivitis was a symptom of the flu? I mentioned Chase's symptoms to him and he said, "Oh, we must test him for malaria." This is the panel physician that is responsible for Eliyas' TB diagnosis, needless to say he's not my favorite person so I didn't think too much of the malaria comment right then. He did say that he and the CDC have exchanged 19 emails and our waiver approval "seems possible." He said he told them his opinion, that he thinks he is at low risk for transmission. Thankful for that!

Once we got back to the guest house, Eliyas' head was hurting, Chase was still feeling bad, and I was exhausted from no sleep the night before, so we all laid around all day. By 7pm Chase was feeling worse, fever started back up and he said his neck was stiff. I called a doctor off the US Embassy's website and he advised us to go to the ER immediately as we was concerned about the possibility of meningitis. He was such a nice guy, has kids that live in Dallas and considered himself an honorary Texan! He also happens to be a TB specialist and said he thinks E must have had a false positive in the sputum test. Wish the US government would listen to doctors instead of insisting he take all this medicine! Anyways, that's another story... A hospital he recommended, St. Gabriel Hospital, is literally right around the corner from us so after some convincing Chase we made our way over there. One hour and $40 later, we found out that he did not have meningitis, praise the Lord!!! But he does have typhus. When the doctor told us, I pretty much yelled at him, "TYPHOID FEVER??!!!" He explained that no, it's not typhoid fever, and it's actually very common here in Ethiopia! "It's not a big deal!" Sheesh... nothing is a big deal here! The pediatrician that gave us the news of Eliyas' results told me, "Madam, it's not a big deal, TB is very common here!" What isn't common here??! Really sad to think about all Ethiopian people go through and are exposed to on a regular basis. :( Turns out typhus is caused by flea or lice bites and he did have some kind of bites on his feet. Thinking it might have come from the beautiful Gorge we visited- as the place was covered in bugs. Also read incubation time is 5-14 days and we are right in that window now, went to the Gorge 8 days ago. We will be wearing bug spray every day from now on! Can I tell you how thankful I am that it is nothing more serious?! They gave us some doxycycline and said he should be better in no time! And one hour, in an out of an ER, for only $40 including meds, you can't beat that!! 

In other news, our waiver was delivered this morning! We finally found out last night that we should have mailed the documents as originally planned. We were told for the last 7 days to keep waiting to hear from someone because there was the possibility of needing it sent to us in Addis to take to embassy. Turns out plan A was correct, and we could have mailed it last Monday, but it is at least where it needs to be now!

We are praying for the people that are processing our envelope, that they get it to the correct place in a speedy manner! We were told it could be as short as a couple days before it get to the correct desk. Praying for the person who will be approving our waiver, that they understand all the facts and have a sense of urgency in helping get us home! 

I'll keep this post short, but am not going to hesitate to ask for your prayers for the following:

- Please pray for our health, that Chase starts feeling better soon, Eliyas gets better/stays healthy, and that I stay healthy!

- Pray for our time here in Ethiopia, that we have a great time bonding during Eliyas' last days in his home country. 

- For all 3 of us during this transition, for Eliyas' heart as he is about to leave all he knows and for us as we seek wisdom and guidance to be the best parents for our sweet son we have been entrusted with.

- And lastly, please pray that our waiver is processed quickly! We are praying for and expecting a miracle!

We can't thank you enough for your prayers and support over the last 21 days. The kindness of friends, family, and strangers back home has been overwhelming. We are so thankful!

ethiopia. day 18.

my foes are many, they rise against me

but i will hold my ground
i will not fear the war, i will not fear the storm
my help is on the way, my help is on the way

When we landed in Addis at sunrise on October 9th, I never imagined we would still be here 18 days later. That morning, I was concerned about having to stay an extra day or 2 and having to change our flights. Ha. If I only knew...

 

My last post left us headed to embassy on Wednesday the 16th to get some direction from them on our next steps. We were praying for a huge miracle, for embassy to clear us to travel in spite of the Class A classification. Thanks to a contact made by mom, Congressman Kevin Brady, who has been so helpful these last couple of weeks, made a call to the ambassador to Ethiopia in regards to our case. The ambassador made the consular general aware of our case and when we walked into embassy Wednesday morning they were waiting for us and were very aware of all that was going on. The consular and his associate were very kind, compassionate, and understanding. It was such a relief to finally talk to another English speaking American person who cared. I was totally expecting just to be another name, another case on their desk. Unfortunately, they couldn't just overlook the diagnosis as we were hoping, but they did give us hope that the waiver would be approved and that it could be as short as 1-2 weeks. They assured us they would do everything to expedite it once it was submitted to USCIS (US Citizenship & Immigration Services). They sort of acted like it was no big deal, so this gave us big hopes for the waiver getting approved. It finally felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. We spent the rest of the evening completing what we needed to on our end, then handed the waiver off to my mom for the final legwork of collecting local and state health official signatures. We went to bed very hopeful that night!

oh, my God, He will not delay

my refuge and strength always

i will not fear, His promise is true

 my God will come through always, always

A little side not here about this day... To be honest, we have had some rocky days with Eliyas. He is figuring us out, we are figuring him out, he is getting used to having people telling him what to do and having rules and boundaries. It's expected. Any attempts at "conversations" or "talking" to him had not really gone over very well. He wasn't exactly talking to us very much or liking us very much. All that to say, we had to make a couple of trips to embassy that day and the second time we waited in a long line before we even got in. Once we got in and sat down I told him that we appreciated how patient he was being, that we know it's no fun to wait in lines and sit around. I told him that we've had to do a lot of waiting, a lot of work, and a lot of stuff that is no fun, but that we would do it all over again, that he was worth it all and we were never giving up on him. I figured I would get the usual brick wall response, but he turned to me and gave me a huge smile. It was so good for my heart. He gets it... After we were done at embassy he was playing around on Chase's phone and pulled up music somehow, the second song on the playlist was "Whom Shall I Fear (Angel Armies)" by Chris Tomlin. "And nothing formed against me shall stand, You hold the whole world in Your hands, I'm holding onto Your promises, You are faithful, You are faithful..." Such a sweet reminder that God is for us and He is faithful.

trouble surrounds me, chaos abounding

my soul will rest in You

i will not fear the war, i will not fear the storm

my help is on the way, my help is on the way

My mom spent the rest of the week tracking down health officials and we were put in touch with an organization who specializes in advocating for special adoption cases like ours. They told us that we might have a way to just send the waiver electronically and to hold off submitting the waiver via regular mail until we heard from someone at USCIS. My mom got the last signature she needed on Monday 10/21 and we were still waiting to hear from the USCIS contact on how to submit the waiver... to make a long story short, it is now Saturday 10/26 and we are still waiting to submit it. This is driving us absolutely crazy, we feel like we are just wasting time with it just sitting, not being submitted. We have been instructed over and over not to send it the normal way because it will cause delays. Last night we got a call from someone at USCIS that someone else would be calling us on Monday (they were out Friday) with instructions on submitting it. The question is if we will mail it as normal or if we will have the originals submitted at US Embassy in Addis. She sounded like the embassy route would be quicker for us in the long run because embassy could submit it 

to be expedited somehow. If that is the case, my mom will have to overnight the originals to a traveling adoptive family to bring to us in Addis. The next possible person to send it to won't be in Addis till Friday... so we will be 3.5 weeks in and just submitting the waiver. :-/ This makes us so anxious, but we are trying really hard to rest completely in the fact that God is in control. Not us, not USCIS, not embassy, not anyone. ~Jeremiah 29:11-14 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.~

i lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord...

from You Lord, from You Lord

Someone has asked for us to share what we do with our days here (great idea Kim :)) so I will try to give a short recap of what we have been up to! I think we all know the first few days were spent running from hospital, to lab, to embassy, crying in our room, Chase sleeping off his sickness, eating Zebra Grill take-away (as they call it here) almost every meal, and E playing lots of video games. Sunday morning, things started looking up. Chase was feeling almost 100% better, I had renewed hope, Eliyas was in an especially good mood and talking to us a little more, and my sweet friend Ashley and her husband arrived to Addis to pick up their son to bring him home! Along with Ashley's family, there was another dad, David, staying at the guest house picking up his 2 boys. Ashley's son and these 2 are close in age to Eliyas so they had a blast together. They spent every waking moment they could together playing soccer, playing video games, watching TV/movies, telling jokes... it was so sweet to see them interacting together. Always huddled around each other, touching, hugging, holding hands, arms draped around shoulders.  

I think it was Monday of that week that Chase and Eliyas went to play golf with David and his 2 boys. Who knew there was a golf course in Addis Ababa? They had a great time. Chase got a sunburn and Eliyas is still asking to go again! (Can I tell you how cute it is when he says "golf" with his little Ethiopian accent?!) There were lots of boys v. dads soccer tournaments at the guest house that week! I think the dads even won a few times! I don't think I can describe how sweet it was to watch these 4 older boys play soccer with their new dads. Something they probably could not have imagined a few months ago. So thankful for a God who redeems! On Tuesday we had lunch at a yummy, American feeling burger place, Sishu, with our friend from Canada and his 3 Ethiopian sons followed by an afternoon at the Hilton. It was one of David's son's birthdays, what better way to spend it than swimming at the Hilton?! It felt like home, enough so that I even dared to have ice in my drink! We ended the night with dinner at Top View. It was a really nice place that again, felt very American, with good food and good prices. At the nicer restaurants we have been to in Ethiopia, you still don't pay more than $5 a plate!

We got to spend one evening at Habesha 2000 where he had dinner and a show! Traditional dinner accompanied by traditional dancing- SO entertaining. We got to go last trip and were so excited to bring Eliyas back. The kids got a kick out of it (after E got over the original embarrassment of it! lol) and we had a great time! Other than these particular events, our typical days start with breakfast at the guest house- sauteed vegetables, pancakes, another fried pastry, some type of cake, toast, fresh squeezed pineapple or orange juice, horrible coffee (what the heck?! We are in the birthplace of coffee!!) and bananas or cantaloupe. (Oh and some type of deli looking meat and cheese, along with some type of oatmeal looking stuff?) Basically a lot of carbs and sugar, as is with every meal in Ethiopia! Most days we go to lunch with other families at one of a handful of restaurants that AWAA frequents. Almost all restaurants here serve pizza, pasta, and sometimes a handful of traditional foods or hamburger. You spend a lot of time in the car getting anywhere- traffic has been really bad this trip! No A/C means the windows are open to get a breeze and you are constantly breathing in all the exhaust and dust, along with smelling the herds of sheep or the livestock place on the side of the road. We've both had cold/allergy symptoms for a few days that we figure is from all the junk outside. Our afternoons have been mostly spent at the guest house, playing soccer and also basketball now that Chase constructed a basketball goal! We order in Zebra Grill pretty frequently for dinner, much to my dismay, and have found a new cafe that we like to walk to that serves a yummy spaghetti with meat sauce for less than $2 and a delicious macchiato for less than 50 cents!

We have started Eliyas' TB treatment, as required by the CDC, and it has to be given at the hospital every morning before 9am. I believe we get to thank the CDC for that lovely requirement. So we get to spend $15 for a cab every morning to sit in traffic all to have E take 2 pills! By we, I mean Chase... most mornings I sleep in while this is going on. :) We have said goodbye to about 8 families since we have been here. I am so happy for everyone that is going home and families being completed, but it is really hard to say goodbye every time, wondering when we will ever get our turn. As my new friend Tiffany reminded me, at least we are getting to meet lots of cool people! :) And we really are. It is truly a blessing to be surrounded by all these wonderful families who are all here with the same end goal. We will leave Ethiopia with a lot more friends than we had before! :) Tonight, as we said goodbye to a family, E told Chase, "No America. Me, you, mom, live in Ethiopia." Chase said, "What about our families? They will be sad!" E said, "They are weak." Funny story, but I pray this isn't all too confusing for him! 

We got to visit the BEAUTIFUL Gorge last week. They call it Ethiopia's Grand Canyon and it was breathtaking. It is a 2 hour scenic drive outside of the city, with beautiful views of the countryside, and no fumes or exhaust to bother you! I did get a little carsick, but nothing a little Dramamine couldn't fix! We hiked around the mountain and just so happened to get attacked by huge hawk looking birds that we found out later were eagles! I was walking with foil wrapped sandwiches in my hand when one knocked me on my shoulder and hit the sandwiches out of my hand! If you know me and how I'm scared of bugs, you can only imagine how freaked out I was to be hit by a ginormous bird!! Later, Chase was eating his sandwich under the bridge when one swooped down and scratched his hand, thank goodness he didn't let go of the sandwich! :) We discovered E is quite the daredevil. He liked to get close to the edges of the cliffs and scare us to death, run up and down the steep hills and rocks... he's not like his dad at ALL!!! ;-) We also got to see baboons up close and personal! That was neat!

We decided to intrude on one of Eliyas' friends going away party at the orphanage and had a combined going away party on Thursday 10/24. We had been holding off on it, since a going away wasn't exactly for sure, but we decided to go ahead and do it and just tell the US government, "Sorry! We have to leave now, we've had the going away party!!" It was our first trip back to Abenezer since picking E up the first day and I wasn't prepared for how emotional it was going to be for me! Eliyas got out of the van and started making his rounds hugging and kissing every kid and nanny he saw. He went from room to room hugging and kissing older kids, toddlers, and babies. It really hit me that this has been his family. This is all he's known for the last 15 months. And as far as orphanages go, I would have to say it is one of the best. 

I can't even tell you how special the party was. It started off by Eliyas (and the other 2 kids that were leaving) getting changed into a traditional outfit. Then the party started and all the other kids presented them with pictures they drew, along with a big hug. The nannies and staff prayed over our kids and families in Amharic. I have no idea what was being said, but it was so emotional for me! We could not have asked for a better place for Eliyas to be before we could get to him. They love these kids and it shows. The older kids did a couple of dances to music in Amharic, it was so sweet. And a party isn't a party without cake and snacks! They had cakes made with their names in Amharic, along with other homemade snacks and sodas. It was such a sweet and thoughtful ceremony and a day I'm sure Eliyas will never forget. Thankfully, we know quite a few of the parents of the kids that have families, so we will be able to keep the kids in touch throughout the years. Something they probably never imagined possible! 

I should add that this last week has brought us more good days with Eliyas. The walls are starting to come down and we are starting to see more of our sweet, funny, loving boy. He is voluntarily giving hugs and "I love yous" and jokes with us, this is quite the change from last week. He is learning to understand that we sometimes have to say no and make him do things he doesn't want to and we are learning how to make him feel secure, loved, and reassured. We are all learning more about each other every day, and let me tell you, we have so much to learn from him. 

If anyone is still reading this, I will close here. Some people have asked if there is a way to help with the financial aspect of this unexpected extended stay. We cannot thank you all enough for your support and prayers! Our dear friends have set up a PayPal account to accept donations on our behalf. If you are interested in helping us this way, you can find the link along with more information at bestlocalinfo.com. Can I tell you what a blessing this is to us? While we are here, the costs are piling on by the day while Chase's income has completely stopped. You would think it would be cheap to stay in a third world country, but it is costing us about $200 a day. We are trusting that the Lord will provide and see us through! Please feel free to share our story and the link above with anyone you think might feel led to support us through monetary means or even more importantly, prayer!

We are praying for a final answer on how to submit the waiver on Monday and for it to be approved soon after! We cannot thank you all enough for your prayers. Please, please don't stop now. We are amazed on a daily basis by our great God who is working all of this for our good and His glory. We are trusting in His great plan! Check back next week for an update!

Isaiah 40:31

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

and though my heart is torn i will praise you in this storm

i was sure by now,
God you would have reached down

and wiped our tears away

stepped in and saved the day

but once again, i say amen, and it's still raining

Just wanted to give an update on where we are... I will try to make this quick, but I have a feeling it might not be. You've been warned. :) First and foremost, we do not have the words to express how thankful we are for all of your prayers, words of encouragement, offers of assistance, reaching out to contacts, etc. We are completely overwhelmed by everyone back home (and in Canada, and maybe even elsewhere!) interceding for us during this trying week. God has used you all to remind us that He hasn't left us, He is in every detail, and He is holding our world in his hands. Some days, some minutes, or hours, it is hard for me to truly accept what I know to be true, but the scripture, encouragement, and prayers from others are serving as a mighty reminder of what an awesome God we serve. We know He is hearing every cry, and He has a great plan even when we can't see it. ~Psalm 34: 17-18 - When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.~

as the thunder rolls

i barely hear your whisper through the rain

"i'm with you"

and as your mercy falls

i raise my hands and praise the God who gives

and takes away

When I last left off, we were headed to the hospital the next day to find his test results. I hadn't really given much thought to "worst case scenario # 4", as it was too dreadful to think about, and our agency has never had a positive sputum test. So I figured there is no way our healthy boy could possibly be the first!!! So just to give you a good story of what the norm is here... Thursday morning the in-country staff made a call to the lab to see what the status was. The lab said the results were sent to the hospital and they could not give her any more information, we would have to contact the hospital. We arrive at the hospital at 11:15... we waited 40 minutes for someone to come down and lead us to "where we needed to go." We arrive at an office, and the nurse is asleep at her desk!! I kid you not. I said to Chase, "Oh this is going to be a good story for later!" We have been waiting over a week + 40 minutes in this hospital and you are sleeping at your desk? TIA folks, TIA. She tells us that no, the lab had not sent the results and we would need to go upstairs to talk to someone else. We get to another nurse upstairs who, after making a few phone calls, determined the results were going to be here "in 30 minutes." Of course we didn't trust that, so we told her we would go ahead and head down to the lab. 

After a 30 minute drive we arrived at the lab and they first tell us that they had already been sent to the hospital last week. Umm....what??!!! After further investigation, oh no, they weren't sent, "We will have them for you in 5 minutes." After another 30 minutes they tell us that actually, they can only release the results to the hospital, they can't tell us anything. They agreed to give the sealed results to our agency's nurse that was with us to drive directly to the hospital. They say this will take another 30 minutes. By that time it was past 2pm and we were all hungry, so we went to grab lunch while the nurse waited on the results. A little while later we get a call that oh, no, the nurse wasn't allowed to drive the results after all, but a courier is taking the results to the hospital and wait on a call from the hospital to let you know they're there.

At about 3pm we got a call from our in-country staff saying the doctor wants us to come to the hospital immediately. I had a sense that something was wrong, why all the sudden do they want us there immediately? Still, I held out hope till we walked upstairs and our agency's nurse was waiting on us. She led us to the doctor and said, "Good luck, I think it's best that I take Eliyas to play while you talk." I immediately lost it, as I knew what she meant, and thought I was surely going to throw up. It didn't take long before the doctor told us that our son has active TB. I remember sobbing so loudly and him telling me, "Madam, it's not a big deal. TB is totally treatable." Through the tears I told him it was not going to be "treatable" for us to be apart for 6 months... he then made it worse by telling us that actually, it would be 6 months of treatment + a 9 week retest. I don't remember much else of the conversation other than he was surprised by the results, as his skin test was negative and his chest x-ray was clean. But he would not budge from giving him a "Class A" classification which meant he was not clear to travel. 

We begged and pleaded and cried, but that was it... he told us a waiver was unlikely due to his age and that he would not recommend him for travel. We asked how likely it was that he was contagious and he said very unlikely, since he is a child and has absolutely no symptoms. We told him how that made no sense then, that he would not change the classification and he blamed it on the CDC. So I then asked him how we even know that these are the correct test results. His file read "Elias X"!! He showed me his picture inside his file and said that is how they know... I explained the mix-up last week with our agency being given info on "another Eliyas" and he assured me that this was not a mix-up. I kept repeating Romans 12:12 to myself as I was sitting in that chair, "be patient in tribulation, be patient in tribulation, be patient in tribulation..." 

and i'll praise You in this storm

and i will lift my hands

for You are who You are 

no matter where i am

and every tear i've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side
and though my heart is torn

i will praise You in this storm

We made it back to our guest house and I spent the rest of the evening trying to keep it together. I cannot even wrap my mind around 9 months without him. How on earth can we abandon him here for 9 months? We promised him we would be together forever the day before, and that he would never sleep in an orphanage bed again. How would he ever trust us if we left him? We contacted our agency, who made contacts for us, and tried to start making contacts with congressmen and anyone else back home who might be able to help. I should make it clear that this is the US government causing this hold up. Ethiopia could care less if he travels. The "panel physician" has strict CDC guidelines to follow and cannot change his classification or recommend him for travel because he did test positive for mycobacterium tuberculosis in his culture. All of this hold up is from our government, who is partially shutdown. We were told again that evening by several people that a waiver is unlikely because his "paper age" is over 10. To top it all off, Chase had been feeling horrible since we landed Wednesday and was feeling even worse on Thursday. So unfortunately, he was pretty much out of it once we got back. I felt like I was all alone trying to fight this battle, during my first week of parenthood!  I prayed that this would all miraculously be over in the morning when we went to embassy, that they would agree it was a mistake and we would be on our way next Tuesday. That night, I had a nightmare that all this was happening, only to wake up to find out it wasn't a nightmare.

i remember when 

i stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and You raised me up again

my strength is almost gone

how can i carry on

if i can't find you

Friday morning, we set out to the hospital to beg the doctor to change his classification. He wouldn't budge so we headed over to embassy to see if we could get some answers from them. To add to the nurse that was asleep at her desk the day before, the girl at the desk at embassy that was "too busy to see us" that day (we just went anyways) was on Facebook when we arrived. Seriously? We made our way to window #2 and I only got a few sentences out before the guy asked, "Are you Kerlin family?" I said yes and he told me that they couldn't see us today. There was only one person that would be able to help us and they were out, and don't we know that embassy closes at 12 on Fridays? Conveniently, they are also closed Monday for Columbus Day, and Tuesday for some Muslim holiday. "We will see you Wednesday afternoon! Thank you, have a good day!" I told him thank you as the tears poured. The only upside to this trip was that they had the nicest bathroom in all of Ethiopia, I could have cried in there all day.

i lift my eyes unto the hills

where does my help come from?

my help comes from the Lord

the Maker of heaven and earth

We headed back to the guest house after that. Chase was feeling even worse and slept until dinner time and I let Eliyas play too many video games and watch too much TV while I spent the afternoon trying to hide tears and trying not to be too angry. I was angry. Angry at God, angry at the doctor, angry at the embassy, angry at the government, angry at Ethiopia for having such a high rate of TB ("Madam, over 50% of people in Ethiopia have TB, it's really not that big of a deal," the doctor told me.) I just about lost all hope that afternoon. I knew in my head that none of this was surprising God, but I was having a hard time believing that He hadn't forgotten us. How could this be happening?? 

Throughout the day, family and friends prayed, sent encouraging messages and scriptures, and asked for prayer on our behalf. I can tell you that just as I thought I was going to come apart at the seams, your prayers and encouragement held me together. (I keep saying I, because Chase was literally dead to the world for the entire day after we got back from embassy. That didn't help anything at all!) Friends and family all throughout the day were making contacts and trying to help find all 3 of us a fast way home! We are so grateful for those of you who did lots of legwork on our behalf! We went to bed that evening knowing that friends and family were going to be gathering at my parent's church to pray for us while we were sleeping that night. We prayed for miracles to take place and at that point, we mostly needed peace, renewed hope, and healing for Chase so he could help me through this nightmare! 

I woke up Saturday to some good news from a couple different people. One specifically is a fellow adoptive mama that we met in Ethiopia last trip. She is from Canada, not with our agency, and just happened to be picking up her beautiful daughter while we were there visiting Eliyas. Just in the last couple of weeks we have connected on Facebook and I had a message from her that she had been tracking down people throughout the night and had some very positive news from some people who have just recently had the same experience-- with a good outcome!!! She got me in touch with a mom who has been an amazing resource so far and has given me such hope that we might have a chance at a waiver. It might take a while (7 weeks for them), but I finally had hope that we might not have to leave our boy for 9 months. It wasn't till later on that evening that I realized, wow, God is in every detail. Had our paths not briefly crossed in Ethiopia a couple of months ago, she would have never been able to connect me with this contact! It was a good reminder that He hasn't left us, He's not giving up on us, and He is working out every detail. ~Philippians 4:7 - And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.~ Colossians 1:17 - And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.~

Today has been a good day. I have more hope, more peace, Chase is feeling better for the most part, and Eliyas has been especially cheerful and in a good mood. To top it all off, my friend Ashley arrived in Ethiopia with her husband to pick up her handsome boy to bring him home!! We have been online friends since about the time we got E's referral, and I am so thrilled that we got to meet in our sons' home country! I am going to bed this evening with the 2 guys I love most in the world sleeping under the same roof and I know that we serve a mighty God who has this whole thing under control. ~James 1: 2-4 - Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.~

Thank you for your prayers friends, we ask you to please not stop now. We go back to embassy Wednesday morning and we are hoping and praying for a miracle!

**lyrics to Casting Crowns' "Praise You In This Storm"